Airtime Hustle

Expert airtime advice from a man who has extensive experience selling used recharge cards as new ones.

I'm a man of simple means. (By simple I mean "no") One of my largest expenses on a weekly basis is the ridiculously large amount of money I spend on airtime. Now for those of you currently living in countries that don't use English as a chopping block for slaughtering roadrunner chickens, airtime here refers to phone credit. (I can't remember the last time I used that word, "credit"...) Anyways, so this week as I bought my allocated $1 airtime strip for the week, I pondered long and hard over my deep poverty as I muttered curses at that guy who sells me airtime, Strive Masiyiwa. As my airtime merchant Strive complied with my request to be careful as he tore off the $1 strip so I could use it as toilet paper after scratching it, imagine my shock and surprise when he revealed to me that there is a raging debate for most people as to the best amount of airtime to buy! "Mr. Masiyiwa, you mean to tell me $1 is NOT the maximum amount available??" I exclaimed. It turns out the average person is plagued by indecision on a daily basis (another shock for me) over whether buying $1 each time you need it is better than buying a $5 card that lasts longer.

A $1 airtime scratch card after its 3rd use as toilet paper.

Strive went on to reveal shocking insider facts when he mentioned that some people buy airtime up to $10, $20 and even $50 at a time so as to avoid having to see his face so often. I'm not sure how long I had been passed out for after I heard this information, but fortunately no one called an ambulance so I dodged that expense. 

Because you are a reader of this blog no doubt you are of a finer pedigree than my co-founder Phil who dilutes ketchup like Mazoe so it lasts longer, so you have to make this decision: Should I buy a $1 card every few hours, a $5 card every couple of days, or just cover the entire month's airtime needs in one buy? Which one makes more economic sense? Well fear not. Strive's painful revelation to me inspired an in-depth and passionate campaign to research the answer to that question. 

Disclaimer: 2 Broke Twimbos will never compromise its integrity by endorsing a particular network carrier because of potential payment, hence we say buy Econet because it's the best and also Telecel is the best and Netone is also the best. (If you represent a mobile network carrier and would like to have your network listed here, please email donate@2broketwimbos.com for banking details) 

There are 3 factors to consider when making this decision: 

1) Buying airtime in higher quantities offers opportunity of taking advantage of discounts, bundled packages and added value options as offered by the networks.

2) Having large amounts of airtime in your phone enables reckless use of your phone, i.e. drunk-dialing that ex who's filed a restraining order, spending office hours surfing vine videos, following email links from HotOrNot.com, and other potentially illegal activities that benefit the lotion and baby wipes industries of the country.

3) Are you a founding member of 2 Broke Twimbos? In which case you actually don't have a decision to make.

My research seems to indicate that while the attractive deals offered for higher purchases of airtime seem to make sense, our natural inclination when faced with excess is to splurge. I mean just the other day I had 2 whole slices of bread in the house and I couldn't help myself. I had to eat both of them right there and then, so this week I don't have any bread. If only I had been apportioned each slice as and when I needed it... 

So 2 Broke Twimbos recommends you buy only a dollar at a time, it will be cheaper in the long run. Unless of course you have willpower made of something strong like Charhons biscuits. 

(This opinion may be changed in the near future depending on emails and bank deposits)

2 Broke Twimbos is happy to regularly give you life-hacks such as this one. For example here's a lesson we can learn from Kombi drivers.